you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
