Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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