on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
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The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
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Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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