I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
