paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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