No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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