I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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