Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
