My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Randomize
