We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
