I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
