We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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