Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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