I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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