Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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