When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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