I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize