I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
