Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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