my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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