i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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