drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just want to make out with him forever
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
