Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
