i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
