I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
