No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize