I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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