Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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