I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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