we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
