Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize