I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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