It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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