Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
