I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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