this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
