I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You're like the curious george of whores
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
