@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
