Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
