You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
