Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
