you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
