That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
