just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
