I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize