Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
well you can't waste a boner
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
