why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
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Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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