i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
