His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
