dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
