you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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