And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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