The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
