I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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