it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
