Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
