can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
