she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize