I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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