I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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