Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize