i think my mom watched the whole time
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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